It's Only an Apology
by JoeSchmoTheHero
Summary: Oneshot. Gary finally works up the courage to apologize to Ash for being a jerk, and he has no idea how Ash is going to react! Fluffy! Palletshipping. Rated T for Gary's dirty mouth and thoughts. Nothing explicit.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon in any way, or anything like that. The only thing I'm getting from this fic is the joy and satisfaction of knowing (hoping!) I made my readers happy.

Sorry to bore you with this pre-fic nonsense. There are just a few things I want to point out before you start reading.

First, this is a Palletshipping fic, so we're talking AshxGary here. There is hinted Originalshipping (RedxGreen (male). Yes, the distinction is very important!), as well. If this offends you, just don't read any further! :) It's basically fluff, so there's nothing too raunchy in here, though. It's mostly centered on Gary's thoughts, though I do give insight into Ash's thoughts a few times.

Second, this takes place around when Ash is 16 and Gary is 17, yet there's nowhere in any timeline that this fic really takes place in. There is a bit of AU-ness, though, but nothing too major.

Third, this is the first fic I've ever written, or even attempted to write! I've always wanted to try to write something, but I've never been able to find inspiration or anything… So here goes nothing! I hope y'all like it :)

Fourth, and probably MOST IMPORTANTLY: It is necessary to make a HUGE distinction between RedxGreen and AshxGary, and the worlds they live in. I mean, we all understand that Ash and Gary live in the anime world and Red and Green (male) live in the game/manga world, but I can't stress that enough for this fic. In the world I'm writing in (the world of Ash and Gary), _Pokémon Special_ and the Pokémon games exist, too, and it's basically the same thing that we have in the real world. I say, if we can have video games about playing sports with real sports teams in our world, then why can't they have video games about training Pokémon and defeating real evil organizations in theirs? I hope that's not too confusing…

And without further ado, here we go!

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><p>Gary was a little nervous about what he was about to do, but he was determined to do it. As he walked the distance to his friend's house, he went over in his head what he was going to say. 'It isn't even that big of a deal… There's no need to be nervous about anything. As long as Ash doesn't make any assumptions about my motives, I'm going to be fine,' he thought. Before he knew it, he was at his friend's door, ready to apologize for being such a jerk.<p>

He knew that he hadn't done anything recently to upset Ash, so he wasn't worried that his younger friend wouldn't want to see him. In fact, most of their encounters these days – they saw each other very often – were friendly. He also knew, though, that in the past year, he had started getting angry at his friend and making fun of him for no reason at all. He would go out of his way to attack Ash at for the silliest things, and he would try to make him look stupid in front of their friends. He knew it hurt Ash, but he couldn't stop himself from doing it. It worried him, and he had a feeling that it worried the other boy as well. Even more worrying to him was the fact that those incidences were happening more and more frequently.

Gary hoped that apologizing would help put a stop to his behavior, the same behavior that almost cost him their friendship when they first started their journeys, so long ago. When they both came home for the last time, they became best friends again, and Gary thought that his choice to be a researcher helped that happen. After everything that had happened between them, he vowed to never hurt Ash again, but that behavior was starting again, and it almost made him sick.

The brunette gingerly knocked on his friend's door, still not understanding why he was so nervous. A sweaty athletic-shirt-wearing Ash opened the door, using his arm to prop himself up on the doorframe, happy to see his best friend. The smile on Ash's face instantly helped Gary calm down. He always liked seeing Ash happy. There was something about that caring smile that could make him feel better, no matter his mood. Maybe it was the fact that Ash had always been there for him. Maybe it was the fact that, even when he would say something that noticeably hurt Ash, the boy would always come back later with that same bright, caring smile.

Gary grew tense again as it hit him how sexy Ash looked when he was sweaty. Ash's normally-wild black hair started to lay down a bit, starting to cover his shining brown eyes, and Gary could only wish that he could be the damp shirt that clung to the brown-eyed boy's well-toned body. The sweat caused the muscles in his arm to shine as they worked to keep him standing. He looked at Gary with his innocent smile, forcing the gawking boy to bite his lower lip to keep his tongue from licking it. Gary stared at Ash's arm as he shifted his weight let it fall back to his side. 'I wonder if this is what he would look like afterward if we had se- Damnit, Gary, stop that! You know you shouldn't think about him like that!' Gary shook his head and snapped back to reality, realizing that he had been holding his breath. Exhaling, he returned his attractive friend's smile and hoped that his staring wasn't noticed. Ash was usually pretty oblivious to things like that, so hopefull-

"Gary! I didn't expect to see you here!" Ash checked his phone to make sure he didn't miss a text from his older friend.

"Oh! Uhh, sorry for not texting ahead of time…" The brunette raised his arm and scratched the back of his head, giving a slightly-embarrassed smile. "I didn't think you'd be busy today, so I just wanted to stop by for a bit!"

"Come on in! Mom's not home. I just got back from a work-out with Pikachu and I was just making myself a sandwich. Would you like one?"

'So your mom's not home, eh? We have the house to ourselves then… We could do whatever we wanted…' The thought made Gary snicker, but he quickly forced himself back to reality. He was glad that Ash couldn't see his face, as he had already turned around to make room for his guest to walk inside.

"Oh, no thanks, I just ate with Gramps. Where is Pikachu, by the way?" He peeked inside the door and saw Pikachu fast asleep on the couch, obviously tired after his exercise. "Oh, never mind."

Turning his head, Ash nodded and gestured for the other boy to make his way into his house. Ash trotted off into the kitchen to grab his plate and a cup of juice, and he returned to the entryway to Gary's slipping off his shoes and placing them next to the door.

"Let's go upstairs! I just sorta changed the layout of my room. You should check it out!"

As the pair made their way upstairs, Gary's nerves started acting up again. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings as he reviewed in his head what he would say, and he bumped into Ash, who had stopped to adjust the thermostat. Gary suddenly inhaled at the surprise, and he caught a whiff of the younger boy's hair. He closed his eyes as the scent intoxicated him. Ash's sweat mixed with his standard smell – something Gary always found desirable, even on its own – and he sensed something sweet in there, too. He realized what he was doing and jumped back, almost falling backwards down the stairs.

The black-haired boy shot his older friend a worried glance "Gary, you okay? You almost fell there…"

"Yeah, sorry, I was just surprised when I bumped into you. I'm okay." Gary tried to smile, hoping the other boy wouldn't suspect anything.

He gave himself another reminder, 'Gary, remember, this is only about your friendship. Even though… Even though you like him, you're just friends, and that's all you'll ever be, so make sure you don't lose that. Just apologize, and everything will be fine. I just hope he doesn't want too much of the truth.' He expected that he would have to give some sort of explanation about his apology, and the truth embarrassed him.

'Speaking of the truth,' Gary concluded, 'Truth is, Ash's room doesn't look much different. He just moved his desk so that his laptop screen wasn't directly visible when someone enters the room.' He snickered at the thoughts of the possible motives his friend would have had for making that change. He stopped as he noticed Ash beaming with pride over his new room, so he decided to not make any comments about how much the room hadn't changed. He was just happy that his friend was happy, so he simply smiled back and returned with a "You're right; I like it! It feels more open now." He didn't want to lie, so he convinced himself that he wasn't lying, he was just giving a slight exaggeration.

Ash plopped down on his floor with his plate and cup in hand, spilling a bit of the juice onto his shorts. The brunette stared at the dark splotch the juice had made, which was dangerously close to… he gulped. 'What I would give to have the chance clean up that spot with my tongue…' He suddenly became aware that he was staring at his crush's crotch and flinched, averting his eyes immediately, hoping his crush had again not noticed.

"Eh, don't worry, it'll dry eventually!" The black-haired boy smiled. Gary gave a nervous laugh as he sat down across from his friend, figuring that his daydreaming had been mistaken for genuine concern for the other boy's clothing.

"So, whas' uh' wih' you?" Ash speech was being handicapped by the huge bite of the sandwich he had taken. He gulped down some of his juice and took a second bite, almost finishing the entire sandwich before Gary had a chance to reply.

"Well, not much, really… There's just… something I kinda wanna say, and I was hoping that you had just a bit of time to talk, if that's okay with you." The older boy tried to hide the nervousness in his voice, but he knew it must have been extremely apparent because he saw the boy across from him squirm the tiniest bit.

Ash didn't know what to expect from this kind of Gary. The only other time he had heard his friend's voice like this was when Gary came out to him 18 months ago. Ash was the first and only person to whom Gary had told that he is gay. They had always been best friends, and Gary knew that he could trust his younger friend, and he wasn't let down. Ash had taken the news extremely well, even better than the gay teen could have hoped. He even felt like it made them closer friends, too. Gary knew that no friend in the world could be better than his Ash, and that's why he knew this needed to be done.

Ash, remembering his friend's coming out, was aware that whatever he wanted to say now was important. Not wanting to scare the nervous Gary away, he replied with a "Go for it! You know you can talk to me about anything!" and put on his best comforting smile.

"Thanks, Ash. I know, and that's exactly why I want to say this. It's just that…" He didn't want to wait any longer. He looked down at his feet and took a breath. "Well, I know that over the past year or so, there have been a lot of times where I've just been a huge ass to you. I know I've hurt you, and I've tried not to do it… But sometimes, it just happens, and I feel like shit about it afterward, but I've always been too scared to say this to you because I didn't want to sound silly or anything, but…" He glanced up at the black-haired boy's eyes for a split second, but couldn't glean any information from them. He took another breath. "But I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for all of that stuff because I know I shouldn't have done it. I had no reason to do it at all, and it was only hurting you and our friendship, and I just needed you to know that I'm sorry for all of it, and I wish I could take it all back, but since I can't, just will you please accept my apology?"

Gary sighed and looked up. Ash was smiling brightly now. That smile, as always, made him feel better.

"Of course I forgive you! I had already forgiven you before you even asked. I know I'm probably too quick to forgive people, but, well, you're Gary, and we're best friends. I could never hold that against you." Ash's eyes twinkled and he couldn't help but smile as he joked, "I only hope that you can forgive me for forgiving you so easily! By the sound of your voice earlier, it seemed like you were expecting something more difficult!"

By now, Gary was smiling, too. "Thanks, Ash, for all of that. I knew there was a reason I picked you to be my best friend." He gave his friend a quick wink. "Thanks for being so, well… 'you'!"

"Aha, thanks, Gary! If you don't mind my asking, why did you feel the need to apologize? It doesn't seem like a very 'you' thing to do."

Gary blushed at this question. Knowing his friend, it was only going to be a matter of time before he asked. He decided to tell the truth, as embarrassing as he considered it to be.

He sighed and admitted, "Well, this is kinda embarrassing… But I guess I can start here. You know the manga _Pokémon Special_, right? And the games that sorta go along with the manga? And the characters Red and Green?" Of course the other boy knew about them. When they were younger, they used to play pretend that they were Red and Green. Pretending to be rivals, they would stop Team Rocket and become Pokémon Masters. He remembered that they thought it was so neat that they even looked like Red and Green, and sometimes acted like them, too! He vowed to never forget those memories.

"Mhm" was all that Gary got in return, and a nod signaling him to continue.

"Well, you see…" The brunette held his breath for a second, watching his friend's eyes to check for his reaction, "I started reading some fan fiction about the characters from _PokéSpe_…" His friend's face didn't change. He was simply waiting for Gary to continue, which was a relief to the older boy. He wouldn't be caught dead admitting to anyone else that he read fan fiction, let alone…

"Well, the thing is, a lot of fan fiction revolves around a specific pairing, a relationship between two people. Everyone has their favorite pairing, and mine is Red and Green." Saying that out loud made Gary self-conscious; he tried so hard in public to keep his guard up and not ever appear gay, so it felt weird to him to let that guard down, even in private to his best friend.

He also hoped that his best friend didn't make the connection between their pretending to be Red and Green as kids and the fact that Red/Green was his favorite pairing today. He didn't want to deny it; he just didn't want to say it, either, so he just kept talking, clarifying his story. "And no, contrary to popular belief, fan fiction isn't just about sex. Most fan fiction is really just a normal story, something that could probably pass as canon anyway. You know, like official story stuff."

Gary kept explaining, now shifting his gaze back down to his feet. "As you know, in the manga and games, Red and Green have a… tense relationship. So, a lot of fan fiction about them is really angsty, and the plot usually goes something like 'Green and Red are friends, Green makes fun of Red, Red gets really hurt, and Green tries to apologize.' But sometimes… Sometimes, it's too late. Either Red has had enough, or some other really angsty thing happens." Gary chuckled at his description of 90% of Red/Green fan fiction. Sometimes it bothered him that they were all so similar, but that wasn't on his mind now.

Ash was nodding along as the older boy continued, looking back into the younger's eyes. "And, well, it's just… I didn't want that to happen to us. I didn't want to push you away, and I didn't want to wait until it was too late. I care about our friendship a lot, and I know it probably sounds really silly, but that's the reason why I wanted to apologize now."

Ash smiled again. "Gary, don't be embarrassed at all by that! I think it's pretty awesome, actually!" The black-haired boy gave a nervous laugh and scratched his head. "Ya know, you're not the only one who reads fan fiction here! If I told you that I never had, well, I'd simply be telling a lie. In fact…" He paused, and Gary noticed him tense up and blush just the slightest amount before continuing, "I've read quite a bit of Originalshipping fics, too. I really like that pairing."

Gary was taken aback. 'Ash reads fan fiction? He knows what 'Originalshipping' is? He likes Red and Green? Isn't that kind of… gay?' His heart jumped at that thought. He checked Ash, who started to seem a bit nervous now. He had a strong feeling that his crush was leading into something, so he decided to let him continue. He tried to hide the surprise and confusion in his voice with a quick "Oh, really?"

Looking down at the floor, Ash continued. "Yeah… And in those fics, obviously, Green is gay. And as you probably know, in a lot of those fics, the reason that Green starts to push Red away and make fun of him is because Green realizes that he is developing feelings for Red and he doesn't want him to know because he is scared of how Red will react."

Gary's heart skipped a beat. All he could do was flinch and stare at the boy sitting across from him. 'No… He figured me out… He figured it all out…' He had never expected the younger boy to get this far. The conversation was supposed to be over now. His throat felt like it locked up, and his heart started pounding. He remained silent and staring, waiting for his friend's next words.

Ash's head tilted up and he met Gary's stare. "Is… Is that how you feel?"

Gary quickly turned his head to break the eye contact. 'Shit. Shit shit shit. What do I say? What can I say? I just apologized to him… I don't want to ruin our friendship now. But this might be my only opportunity to tell him the truth… I can't wait any longer… I've been waiting too long to say this…'

He took a large breath. At the end of the exhale, he let out a quick "Yes, it is," eyes still averted. He let a beat pass. Nothing from the boy to whom he had just admitted his feelings. He took a quick breath and started, "Ash, I'm so sorry, I probably shouldn't have said that. I know how you must feel now… I'm so sorry… Please, Ash… You have to understand, I didn't want to lie to you right after I just apologized for being a jerk… I just want to be friends, Ash, and that's the most important thing to me, and that's the truth. I know this is super weird for you. I'm sorry. If you just want me to leave now, I will. If you don't want to talk to me again, I understand. Just… Just… I'm sorry." Gary sighed. He felt sick to his stomach. He just wanted to disappear.

A few seconds passed without a response from the younger boy. Gary was about to stand up and leave when he looked up and into the silent boy's eyes. They weren't angry, or upset, or disappointed, or hurt. Just thinking. Taking everything in. Not wanting to miss a single detail. 'Why hasn't he said anything yet? Usually he's more impulsive than this.' Gary wasn't sure what that meant, so he waited another second. Ash took a breath, looked at him, and nervously gave his reply.

"You also probably know that… that in a lot of those fics, when… when it's not too late… Red also has feelings for Green, too. Green just never knew it…"

Gary's heart started racing again. 'Is he actually implying… Does he really mean…?' He couldn't believe it. He wanted to be very careful in this situation… He had never imagined that this could possibly come up. His hands started shaking as Ash looked at him, waiting for a reply. Gary couldn't smile at this point, not yet, so he just stared at the boy across from him.

"Yeah… And that's…"

Gary swallowed the lump in his throat, still staring into the pair of brown eyes across from him.

"And is that how you feel?" His voice went up abnormally high at the end, even for a question.

The younger boy waited a few seconds, and finally issued his admission. "Yeah, yeah it is." He let out the rest of the breath he was holding, and he relaxed his muscles a bit. "I'm not sure what to say now…"

Gary wasn't sure why, but he was still extremely nervous about the situation. His heart was racing, and he felt so close to happiness, but he wanted to be sure, and he decided to take it one step at a time. "So you mean… You're actually gay?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry I didn't say anything about it before, I just… never felt like the time was right. And I was always worried how you would respond, ya know, I didn't want you to think that I thought that just because you were gay, you automatically liked me." Ash seemed saddened with this, and Gary noticed his voice drop at the end, but he didn't pay attention to it. His mind was on other things.

Gary's breathing quickened, and he felt like he was starting to sweat. He knew he was so close. He just had to be sure. "And everything you said was true?"

Ash took an extra breath before confirming his thoughts. "Yep, everything I said is true." Ash waited a beat before nervously turning up the corner of his mouth ever so slightly. "As true as the pairing of Red and Green!"

At that, the brunette couldn't stop himself from smiling. He knew that on any other occasion, he would look silly with such a large grin. But he wasn't alone then, as it was Ash's turn to be reassured by his smile. Ash let a large smile slide onto his face, and Gary let out a playful laugh. At that, the younger boy got a glint in his eye that didn't go unnoticed. He received a puzzling look from the older boy, and he didn't wait another second before playfully hiding his eyes (and trying to hide his blush!) from Gary and giving his explanation.

"You also probably know that in a lot of Originalshipping fics, after Green and Red confess their feelings for each other… They often… Share a kiss…" And without waiting for any reaction, Ash leaned forward and planted a light kiss on the brunette's lips, his hair brushing against the other's forehead, pulling back before Gary had time to react, still trying to hide his reddening blush. "Like that," he whispered as his twinkling eyes stared into the other boy's stunned gaze.

It took Gary less than a second to collect his thoughts, and he knew that he didn't need any more of an invitation than that. Flipping himself onto his knees, he put his right hand on his partner's chest, pushing him down so he was lying on his back. He used his left elbow to slowly lower himself so that he was only inches away from Ash's face, left hand caressing his cheek. Gary's right hand found its way the other boy's thick black hair, where it started playing with the long locks, and he could feel Ash's quick, excited breaths on his neck as he looked into those deep brown eyes. Ash stared back and gave a suggestive smile.

Gary whispered, "No, you mean like this," and with those words he lowered his head and let his lips lock with Ash's as the two boys entered into a deep, long, passionate kiss. Without much delay, Gary found his tongue, seemingly acting with a mind of its own, deepening the kiss, much to the younger boy's delight.

Neither boy knew what would happen next, but neither cared. They were in the moment, enjoying it, not wanting it to end.

But the boy on top was the first to break the kiss, pulling his head back a few inches. He was fairly sure that his partner had never had an experience like that before, so he looked down for reassurance. Ash's shining, wonder-filled eyes told him all he needed to know. He smiled at the boy below him, nuzzled his neck, and whispered, "Hot damn, Ash. You don't know long I've wanted to do that."

Ash simply smiled back as he replied, "Ya know, you're not the only one who can say that."

And with a wink from his partner, Gary was pulled back down into another long, fulfilling kiss.

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><p>Thanks so much for reading! Like I said, this is my first fic, so please please please review. If I made any mistakes (spelling, grammar, etc.) please let me know! Most importantly, please just tell the truth if you review. Don't be artificially nice to me or anything. If you didn't like something, please tell me! (Also, if you did really like something, tell me that, too! :3) Thanks!<p> 


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